The Long and Winding Road

The road to recovery with respect to a damaged relationship after an affair isn't a straight one. To take that a step further, its rainy, heavy fog, falling boulder's and just flat out doesn't feel safe. The road is frozen, slippery, and leads up hill and I know this because any progress made today is often lost in tomorrow's worries or fears. There's just no safety on either side of the painted lines and no guarantee that the road that you are traveling is taking you to the place of your choosing. So I have a Universal Bus Ticket to the town of Forgiveness...not quite sure where that is nor when I will be arriving. I suppose I'm not driving the bus because it was my drunk driving that got me onto this bumpy road. Am looking in the rear view mirror a whole lot more than I would rather, but the road ahead has such limited visibility that the the road behind draws great scrutiny.

If you asked my dearest, I'm sure on the surface that she would have preferrred the bus trip to somewhere a litle more glamorous than this destination; but I have to trust that the town of Forgiveness is just the pit stop for the many glamorous journeys to follow that know no boundaries nor bitterness. We've traveled those roads for a while and I've grown tired of them. Not completely sure why so many of us choose those roads to begin with. They really are choices, although they differ in terms of the environment in which they were made. My environnment would appear to have been foggy at best of late and so I am conscious that the very lack of my own assertiveness in creating my optimal environment has led to the roadway to Forgiveness. There defines my journey, there defines my reality, there defines my destiny.

FORGIVENESS OR BUST!!!! ---written in white shoe polish on the back window.

"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us. There is only one remedy for it...forgiveness"