An Invitation

My Dearest...I have been afraid of living, afraid of loving, afraid of giving myself to you; all the while asking you to live, love, and give yourself to me.

I have asked you to abandon the walls that surround your heart without fully abandoning my own.

I have held onto pain and darkness and allowed fear to invade me to the point of losing myself and all that I stand for.

When my pain got the best of me, I avoided asking you to help me through it...thinking that your fears and your pain would only seek to shame me for my own.

I have looked for reasons to be annoyed, angry, or depressed instead of counting my many blessings and reasons to be happy.

I have been human...I have been humbled...and I've witnessed my own Hell as a result of allowing ego to rule my world. With this pain, I step into a place of tremendous personal growth and am finding a strengthening of Spirit that is helping me to grow with every passing day. A strength that has shown me how and why to fully love, give, and trust in all. As I grow and I look at our life and our love with a renewed and enlightened vision, I give to you the following Invitation with no expectations other than for you to know how truly and deeply I love you...

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living

I want to know what you ache for

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love

for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow

if you have been opened by life's betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade itor fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day.

And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine

and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,"Yes."

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair

weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be doneto feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

---Oriah Mountain Dreamer